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Monday, April 30, 2007

Family Of Five… and Cat Makes Six?

I love animals. Growing up, we always had at least one cat and one dog. There was usually a pair of hamsters named Peter and Gonzalo, plus or minus a gerbil, a parrot… later there were sheep, goats, chickens, ducks, and rabbits… fish…. My parents still have their dog and cat and a pair of exotic birds. The days of the hamsters are long gone!

I have wanted a pet for a while. I think it’s a great experience for children. Of course children learn responsibility; feeding, cleaning and caring yet most importantly the feelings that animals invoke in us – especially compassion. I would like for my own children to learn how to experience what someone else might be feeling… animals help us do this and we sure could use a lot more of that emotion; compassion in our world!

My Dr. Doolittle eldest daughter has been asking for a pet for months and months. A couple of yeas ago we adopted a baby guinea pig named, Polly-Pocket, that she cared for so attentively until sadly, it died suddenly in the night. She was devastated; a lesson in death.

Recently a young man posted on our community e mail list that he was looking for a home for his very friendly, spayed and vaccinated, white, female 3-year old cat. I inquired… and yesterday afternoon, we became acquainted with, ???-The-big-white-cat! My 3 were overcome with excitement – they chased and cornered The Cat, who was very accommodating! She did not hiss or bite or even flinch! She calmly allowed all three kids and a friend to pet her and attempt lifting her. After a time of this treatment I encouraged all 4 children to step back and let The Cat get to know us.

We have moved onto the great name debate. So far the top nominated names are the highly original: Polly-Pocket (again), Snowball, Snow White, and Berele… I’ll keep you updated.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

The Nostalgic Mood

Sometimes I’m embraced with one of those Nostalgic Moods – I can sit for hours reading old journals ad notebooks, pouring over photo albums, “What year did I pose in that light blue, 4-H project dress?”, “What was that girl-from-the-second-grade named?”, “I remember that day at the beach….” and memories flow through my mind as if I’m living through them right here and now. When I was a kid, my parents took all of our photos on slide film so we never saw any of the pictures until years later when Mom and Dad were in the Nostalgic Mood and we’d have night-long slide shows. We’d all huddle together on the floor of the living room, maybe there was popcorn, and Dad would sit there smiling with tears rolling down his face as we all grew up on the big white wall.

I had a Nostalgic Mood on Friday night. It was 7’o clock and I had just put the 2 girls to bed, my son had fallen asleep in my arms nursing – so I carried him up to his bed. When I’m pregnant, I have these moods often. I reminisce about each birth and relive the moments minute by minute. I remember my husband and myself sitting down to eat dinner on our balcony the evening before my first daughter was born, in October, 2001. I remember me not eating, wondering if the contractions I was feeling were “real” (at nearly 43 weeks) or “false”. In the moments of her birth I remember feeling such an enormous almost-power enter my body. After over 24 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing, the most beautiful cone-headed, long, slender baby was born. Of course, I became a mother at that moment and just months shy of 26 it was as if I had gone from being a carefree young wife to a woman. The album containing the birth photos is full of emotions. My hands and arms with IVs and tubes wrapped around and poking out covered in dry blood, cradling my tightly wrapped daughter. My hair is beautifully disheveled and my tired face glows with joy. My young boy husband beams out of the photos, awkwardly holding our baby for the first time. Other photos show my parents beaming, holding their first grandchild. There are pictures of my two youngest brothers, 9 and10-year old uncles, reaching out to touch their niece. Later photos show my dad sleeping soundly with my baby girl nestled in the crook of his arm, each of my 18-year old twin brothers cuddling her to sleep. It’s Friday night in 2007 and I’m transported back 5 and a half years ago to a time so different in my life. I’m a new mother and my dreams and plans for motherhood and parenting are a giant, long secret rolled up in front of me.

I hear my toddler son stir in his sleep and I’m snapped back to my 31-year old life as a pregnant mother of three, sitting on my brown leather couch, propped up with cushions, and surrounded by photo albums. It’s time to sit down to dinner with my husband – just the two of us.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Mother's Love Goes Beyond Her Eggs

I have been blessed. I have experienced the miracle of becoming pregnant 4 times. I have witnessed the miracle of birth 3 times.

I fell in love with each of my children instantly and like many mothers, I would sacrifice myself for each of them – if needed. I would give my life to save my child and I would certainly give them an organ; some liver, a kidney… if G’d forbid, that was what was needed to save my child’s life I would give it to them!

So what is the big deal about donating some eggs to a daughter? That’s what 36-year-old Melanie Boivin of Montreal Canada is doing for her 7-year old daughter, who was born sterile due to a genetic disorder called, Turner Syndrome. Her eggs will be frozen for 20 to 25 years and will be thawed, fertilized, and implanted if her daughter chooses to become pregnant using her mother's eggs.

The media and the critics focus on the fact that Melanie’s daughter will be giving birth to her biological half-sibling and Boivin will become a mother and a grandmother. Why is that such an “ethical” debate? I think this is a lovely story showing the boundless love of a mother for her daughter. No doubt Ms. Boivin has endured painful and invasive examinations and procedures and would be there to do it again and more if it meant providing her daughter with the great gift of motherhood.

Is Breastfeeding In Public Legal?

Is breastfeeding in public legal? Many moms wouldn't think twice about stopping in the local coffee shop to nurse their hungry baby. I wouldn't. The recent news story about the woman in Boca Raton who was asked to leave a Florida eatery for breastfeeding is a suitable example of why breastfeeding moms need to know their rights. She was nursing her baby son during a family dinner at Houston's when management asked her to leave. Unsure of her rights to breastfeed in public the young mother left to finish feeding her hungry baby in her parked car.

According to a Florida law, women have an unconditional right to breast-feed anywhere, public or private, covered or uncovered. The bottom line is, she was doing nothing wrong - nothing against the law. While I am sorry for the humiliation this young mother was put through, I hope it brings some attention to the issue. Breastfeeding in public is natural and women and babies have the right to do it anytime and anywhere. As long as public opinion remains divided, people who are offended by it need to look the other way... or perhaps they should be the ones asked to go finish their meal in a parked car.