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| I'm happy and I feel like flying... |
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The pathology reports are in... |
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Sunday, February 20, 2011
Feed Me Seymour!
Happy Sunday! Today marks 2 weeks since my surgery. It's weird how time works. I'm glad to be home and getting back into the groove of life. I'm still riding the emotional post-op. wave and thankfully (or not) the mundane is still special. For 2 weeks, I didn't do a whole lot. Today, I woke up before 6 AM. I did everything I used to do like getting the kids ready for pre-school, kindergarten, and school - packing snacks, waiting for Z's minibus to pick him up, driving H to pre-school, and A & M to school. Those were tasks that I just did without much thought until now. Now it feels like something more. Will it last?
Now that the bandages are off for good and I've been able to wash my surgery site properly it looks okay - not too grisly. The previous post photo was snapped today. I imagine I'll always have a trace of scar as a symbol of the surgery; a battle scar. I earned it after all I went through. A considerable section of the right side of my face is wooden. I have zero sensation there. It feels like I went to a psycho-dentist and had novocaine injected in my ear, cheek and neck. Feed me Seymour!
Audrey II: Feed me!
Seymour: Does it have to be human?
Audrey II: Feed me!
Seymour: Does it have to be mine?
Audrey II: Feeeed me!
Seymour: Where am I supposed to get it?
Audrey II: [singing] Feed me, Seymour / Feed me all night long - That's right, boy! - You can do it! Feed me, Seymour / Feed me all night long / Ha ha ha ha ha! / Cause if you feed me, Seymour / I can grow up big and strong.
Now that the bandages are off for good and I've been able to wash my surgery site properly it looks okay - not too grisly. The previous post photo was snapped today. I imagine I'll always have a trace of scar as a symbol of the surgery; a battle scar. I earned it after all I went through. A considerable section of the right side of my face is wooden. I have zero sensation there. It feels like I went to a psycho-dentist and had novocaine injected in my ear, cheek and neck. Feed me Seymour!Audrey II: Feed me!
Seymour: Does it have to be human?
Audrey II: Feed me!
Seymour: Does it have to be mine?
Audrey II: Feeeed me!
Seymour: Where am I supposed to get it?
Audrey II: [singing] Feed me, Seymour / Feed me all night long - That's right, boy! - You can do it! Feed me, Seymour / Feed me all night long / Ha ha ha ha ha! / Cause if you feed me, Seymour / I can grow up big and strong.
Looking Better 14th Day Post Op. Parotidectomy
The incision has healed pretty well except for one small spot parallel to the drain site. The puncture-like hole on my neck is where the drain was. Hopefully the scar will continue to fade.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Pour Me Some Whine
Pain is an ugly monster. It's something that can debilitate you and absorb your continuous place of resort. I'm a very positive person and I'm having a hard time battling the ugly monster right now.
My face - well *only* half of it - is numb but every time I eat I feel whatever is left of my parotid gland firing up. It hurts so badly that I don't want to eat anymore. Hard knocks. Boo hoo. A real drag.
I hate to be a pain in the tuchus.... pour me a tall glass of
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Everyday is an Update
My DH, Little "E", and I spent the AM hours of yesterday back at the hospital. I had an appointment with my surgeon and I wanted to take the opportunity to show some thanks too. We brought my surgeon the best bottle of red wine we could find and a big box of chocolates for the staff of the ENT ward. It felt good to show thanks even though it's ridiculously small compared to what I feel in my heart for each and every person who has taken such good care of me!
Some steps leading up to my surgery were frustrating so when people came out of various places in my life and lead the way it felt like Moses splitting the sea clearing the path for me! These people are my angels. An angel I'll call, "C", got me into CT in a flash out of the goodness of her heart and on her day off after a night shift. Another angel I'll call, "Z Doc", got me in to meet my surgeon like greased lightning even though the secretary insisted I'd have to wait an entire month.... My bro, "L", got me an MRI appointment in less than 24 hours though the wait list goes back for months.... This list goes on!
In the week or two before my surgery, I ended up running around a lot. Indeed, I do other jobs besides "being a mama". One of my jobs is laundry (surprise surprise). I neglected that one for at least 4-5 loads in the spinner and unfortunately for me, when the time finally came for me to clean up (3 days before surgery) I discovered that my washing machine had committed suicide never to spin again. Knowing I'm about to be sidelined for the next 2-3 weeks AND already having 1/2 of our clothing in the dirty laundry was enough to send me into a high speed spin-cycle! Friends and neighbors to the rescue! My friend, "L", did 3 loads including folding! The other loads were divided amongst caring neighbors. I'm happy to say we have new washer & dryer on order... hopefully arriving ASAP!
My friends, "E.G." and "L.B." prepared Sabbath meals for us with love including other sweets and treats from 4 other friends! We've been lavished with a torrent of delicious home-cooked meals every evening from our amazing community.
Yesterday, at my post-op visit , my surgeon said everything is healing nicely. The Pathology results weren't in yet. He removed the stitches and replaced the bandage. He said not to remove it for 5-6 days. He was so patient & listened to all of my questions and answered each one with care and detail. He was very gentle removing the stitches too. I don't have a lot of pain because the area is so numb from cutaneous nerve damage and maybe some feeling will come back. The worst pain is from eating because it causes whatever is left of the parotid gland to kick in and salivation hurts on the right side for now. I also have some weakness so chewing goes very slowly. I have lost most of the "post baby-weight" I've been meaning to knock off which I'm definitely not complaining about!
As far as the 3 mm tumor on the left side, the surgeon wants to wait and see what the pathology is on the right side. He said 3 mm is too small to do a FNA on. Maybe he'll request an ultrasound. I'm going back to the surgeon in 2 weeks: 28th Feb & hopefully I'll have all of the results by then...
Some steps leading up to my surgery were frustrating so when people came out of various places in my life and lead the way it felt like Moses splitting the sea clearing the path for me! These people are my angels. An angel I'll call, "C", got me into CT in a flash out of the goodness of her heart and on her day off after a night shift. Another angel I'll call, "Z Doc", got me in to meet my surgeon like greased lightning even though the secretary insisted I'd have to wait an entire month.... My bro, "L", got me an MRI appointment in less than 24 hours though the wait list goes back for months.... This list goes on!
In the week or two before my surgery, I ended up running around a lot. Indeed, I do other jobs besides "being a mama". One of my jobs is laundry (surprise surprise). I neglected that one for at least 4-5 loads in the spinner and unfortunately for me, when the time finally came for me to clean up (3 days before surgery) I discovered that my washing machine had committed suicide never to spin again. Knowing I'm about to be sidelined for the next 2-3 weeks AND already having 1/2 of our clothing in the dirty laundry was enough to send me into a high speed spin-cycle! Friends and neighbors to the rescue! My friend, "L", did 3 loads including folding! The other loads were divided amongst caring neighbors. I'm happy to say we have new washer & dryer on order... hopefully arriving ASAP!
My friends, "E.G." and "L.B." prepared Sabbath meals for us with love including other sweets and treats from 4 other friends! We've been lavished with a torrent of delicious home-cooked meals every evening from our amazing community.
Yesterday, at my post-op visit , my surgeon said everything is healing nicely. The Pathology results weren't in yet. He removed the stitches and replaced the bandage. He said not to remove it for 5-6 days. He was so patient & listened to all of my questions and answered each one with care and detail. He was very gentle removing the stitches too. I don't have a lot of pain because the area is so numb from cutaneous nerve damage and maybe some feeling will come back. The worst pain is from eating because it causes whatever is left of the parotid gland to kick in and salivation hurts on the right side for now. I also have some weakness so chewing goes very slowly. I have lost most of the "post baby-weight" I've been meaning to knock off which I'm definitely not complaining about!
As far as the 3 mm tumor on the left side, the surgeon wants to wait and see what the pathology is on the right side. He said 3 mm is too small to do a FNA on. Maybe he'll request an ultrasound. I'm going back to the surgeon in 2 weeks: 28th Feb & hopefully I'll have all of the results by then...
Sunday, February 13, 2011
What day is it again???
This has been a busy week! What day is it again???
Just to bring you up to speed... Last Sunday I had surgery, came home on Wednesday, Thursday my 5-yr-old son was "diagnosed" with ADHD, Friday was my nephew's Brit Milah, Saturday was the blessed Sabbath-day-of-rest, and today is.... what day is it again???
I'm glad to report that my tonsil pain cleared up with antibiotics. I'm experiencing a watery right eye and a general feeling that my right eye is out of sync with my left eye. Completely numb from mid-ear down the side of my face & under my chin. The up-side is that due to the numbness (nerve damage) I'm unable to feel any pain in the incision. I'm thankful for that at the moment but I'm still hoping I'm not going to shlepp a "dead" feeling in half of my face for the rest of my (hopefully VERY LONG) life.
Tomorrow AM I have an appointment with my surgeon to receive the final pathology report (hopefully) & have the stitches removed. I will also ask questions about everything I'm experiencing including what our *plan* should be regarding the 3 mm tumor on the left side.
I feel like I've been flying high... floating on air. No, I'm not taking those *fun* pain-killers. I'm wrapped up in so much love and kindness from every direction... I'm actually so grateful and thankful that I just can't really explain what it feels like. I know that I have a huge challenge ahead of me... with my son. I want to raise my boy, "Z", to be happy, self confident, and secure. I want to help him gain the tools he needs to succeed in life like maintaining "sustained mental effort", time management, organizing himself and feel good about himself in the world.
...and in other news, my 12-month-old *might* have swallowed one of those tiny button-size
d batteries found in those annoying Made-in-China toy-cellphones... She was playing so quietly in the living room when I noticed she'd pried the cover off of the phone and I was only able to find 2 out of 3 batteries! Our friend the ER-dr. said we should get an X-ray to make sure it's not lodged in her esophagus... and in the meantime, I'll hope it "passes through" without incident.
Wish me luck... on my list of stuff!
UPDATE 1 trip to the emergency room + 1 X-ray = 0 batteries found in baby = pure relief!
Just to bring you up to speed... Last Sunday I had surgery, came home on Wednesday, Thursday my 5-yr-old son was "diagnosed" with ADHD, Friday was my nephew's Brit Milah, Saturday was the blessed Sabbath-day-of-rest, and today is.... what day is it again???
I'm glad to report that my tonsil pain cleared up with antibiotics. I'm experiencing a watery right eye and a general feeling that my right eye is out of sync with my left eye. Completely numb from mid-ear down the side of my face & under my chin. The up-side is that due to the numbness (nerve damage) I'm unable to feel any pain in the incision. I'm thankful for that at the moment but I'm still hoping I'm not going to shlepp a "dead" feeling in half of my face for the rest of my (hopefully VERY LONG) life.
Tomorrow AM I have an appointment with my surgeon to receive the final pathology report (hopefully) & have the stitches removed. I will also ask questions about everything I'm experiencing including what our *plan* should be regarding the 3 mm tumor on the left side.
I feel like I've been flying high... floating on air. No, I'm not taking those *fun* pain-killers. I'm wrapped up in so much love and kindness from every direction... I'm actually so grateful and thankful that I just can't really explain what it feels like. I know that I have a huge challenge ahead of me... with my son. I want to raise my boy, "Z", to be happy, self confident, and secure. I want to help him gain the tools he needs to succeed in life like maintaining "sustained mental effort", time management, organizing himself and feel good about himself in the world.
...and in other news, my 12-month-old *might* have swallowed one of those tiny button-size
d batteries found in those annoying Made-in-China toy-cellphones... She was playing so quietly in the living room when I noticed she'd pried the cover off of the phone and I was only able to find 2 out of 3 batteries! Our friend the ER-dr. said we should get an X-ray to make sure it's not lodged in her esophagus... and in the meantime, I'll hope it "passes through" without incident.Wish me luck... on my list of stuff!
UPDATE 1 trip to the emergency room + 1 X-ray = 0 batteries found in baby = pure relief!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Wordless Saturday Nite...
Some Bloggers have Wordless Wednesday where they share pictures that are so enchanting or poignant that they defy a need for an actual wordy blog post... it's not Wednesday & I'm positively wordless (just about).
6th day post Parotidectomy & partial neck dissection - I decided to pull off the sterile strips and see what my *new* ear-neck look like....
6th day post Parotidectomy & partial neck dissection - I decided to pull off the sterile strips and see what my *new* ear-neck look like....
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Awoken from Monotony
I'm writing from my hospital bed in Shaarei Zedek Hospital in Jerusalem, Israel. I'm on my 3rd day post-op and just really looking forward to going home. Everyone has been so nice and caring to me from my family and friends whose love and support I couldn't live without to the surgeons, nurses and hospital staff who are so skilled, gentle, and patient.
One of the puzzling things in life is how a crisis wakes you up from your monotony. Of course there are so many levels of crisis - fatal and life-threatening and the more mundane like might-be cancer or it's-a-tumor-but-it's most-likely-benign (so just be mildly worried until you get the pathology results in two weeks...) variety. In my case, I went from being in complete control of my busy household and life to sitting in a hospital bed with a drain hanging out of my swollen neck and really completely depending on my devoted mom and DH to take care of my kids and house and my friends and family to help with errands, meals, laundry.... And when compared with the more scary or life-threatening crisis types, my 3-4 night hospital stay is really not so tragic.
All of the reactions have happened for me... the emotions of losing physical contact with my young children, having constant outpouring of love and presence from my parents, husband, and brothers. Amazement by the actions of friends, family, and community who have called, sent loving messages, made my family meals, and come to visit - I'm so thankful to have this surgery behind me. I'm so uplifted and inspired by so much kindness....
The surgery was a success. My surgeon removed most of my parotid gland without damaging function of my facial nerve. The right side of my face from my ear and jaw down to the underside of my chin is completely numb. The surgeon said I may not regain any feeling there which is really disappointing but I guess I knew the risk was there. The upside is it's less of a problem for me, as a woman, as I don't need to shave... if that's any consolation? Several suspicious lymph nodes were removed during surgery and frozen sections were performed while I was still on the operating table and I'm very happy to say they were cancer-free! We still have to wait 2 weeks for the pathology reports on the tumor itself and I'm pretty confident that it will be good news...
I was told yesterday that I'd be in the hospital until tomorrow but I might be having the drain removed today and get to go home!!!! I'm hoping for that!
One of the puzzling things in life is how a crisis wakes you up from your monotony. Of course there are so many levels of crisis - fatal and life-threatening and the more mundane like might-be cancer or it's-a-tumor-but-it's most-likely-benign (so just be mildly worried until you get the pathology results in two weeks...) variety. In my case, I went from being in complete control of my busy household and life to sitting in a hospital bed with a drain hanging out of my swollen neck and really completely depending on my devoted mom and DH to take care of my kids and house and my friends and family to help with errands, meals, laundry.... And when compared with the more scary or life-threatening crisis types, my 3-4 night hospital stay is really not so tragic.
All of the reactions have happened for me... the emotions of losing physical contact with my young children, having constant outpouring of love and presence from my parents, husband, and brothers. Amazement by the actions of friends, family, and community who have called, sent loving messages, made my family meals, and come to visit - I'm so thankful to have this surgery behind me. I'm so uplifted and inspired by so much kindness....
The surgery was a success. My surgeon removed most of my parotid gland without damaging function of my facial nerve. The right side of my face from my ear and jaw down to the underside of my chin is completely numb. The surgeon said I may not regain any feeling there which is really disappointing but I guess I knew the risk was there. The upside is it's less of a problem for me, as a woman, as I don't need to shave... if that's any consolation? Several suspicious lymph nodes were removed during surgery and frozen sections were performed while I was still on the operating table and I'm very happy to say they were cancer-free! We still have to wait 2 weeks for the pathology reports on the tumor itself and I'm pretty confident that it will be good news...
I was told yesterday that I'd be in the hospital until tomorrow but I might be having the drain removed today and get to go home!!!! I'm hoping for that!
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